Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Finally something exciting has happened to me. Rachel and I have been trying to get tickets to the Ellen show for months now and we had tickets last week, but the show ended up being cancelled so today had to be the day that we were finally going to see her. Today was a rollercoaster of emotions and I will tell you about it and show you the pictures that we took to document our fabulous day.

We woke up bright and early and headed off to see our favorite daytime talk show host. We wanted to make sure to get there early so we were sure not to be put in the rif raff room. We got there without a hitch and had no problem finding parking.

We were ready to go and dance with Ellen! Here we are about to go get our place in line. We thought it would be no problem since we got there TWO HOURS prior to when the line is supposed to even START. But no...we walk up to check in and the girls tells us that the audience is only 156 people and we are numbers 164 and 165. 8 people too late! She also said that sometimes VIPs don't show up so there is a 50/50 chance of us still being able to get into the audience.

As you can see we were so upset and apparently, I look 12 when I'm upset. Had we arrived 20 minutes earlier we probably would have gotten in. We had some time to waste so we decided to go to lunch. We couldn't believe our hopes had been crushed like that.

After lunch we headed back to stand around some more. They gave us a survey to fill out, which confused us all, but we did it anyway. Here's an example of the survey and my responses:
Will you be watching the Daytime Emmy's on Friday?
Tivo, baby

Besides Ellen, who will you be rooting for?
I hope that Jon Stewart will receive the 1st daytime Emmy for a night time show.

Who is your favorite daytime soap opera star?
That guy on that show.

I believe that sarcasm solves all problems.

We met two ladies that were VIP and one of them kept reassuring us that we would get in because she was lucky. I was also able to get Rachel hooked up because she is OBSESSED with Justin Timberlake. Since one of the ladies had the hook up I sarcastically said, "You should get Rachel's number and hook her up with tickets when Justin Timberlake is on the show." The lady agreed and will now be trying to get Rachel the hook up. AWESOME. Things were starting to go our way.

So then it's 5 minutes before the show and we're sitting in the rif raff room and the guy starts calling out numbers, but he tells us that this doesn't necessarily mean we're getting in. Next thing we know we're walking up the stairs and there is the stage. He tells us to go talk to this girl and the girl leads us down the show stairs and puts us in the FRONT ROW! We had better seats then the VIP people we met! It was insane. Rachel and I freaked out. Wentworth Miller(total babe)was on and the musical guest was Daniel Powter. It was funny that he was the musical guest because just at lunch I was talking about how that song is almost as annoying as that James Blunt song, "Beautiful." That song seriously makes me want to kill myself.

ANYWAY! The best part was! During the performance Ellen walked right in front of Rachel and me and brushed us! It was hilarious because as soon as it happened mine and Rachel's eyes bulged out of our heads and we looked at each other and then we looked at the security guard since he was watching us and he smirked at us. So YEAH! ELLEN DEGENERES TOUCHED ME! I also made eye contact with her. MY GOD!

Some other nice little tidbits: Tony, her DJ, is a babe. The guy that warms the crowd up before the show = babe. The stage is incredibly tiny even though it looks huge on TV. I got the Daniel Powter CD for free and I don't want it so if anyone likes the dude, send me your address and I'll send it to you for FREE.



This is similar to the look on our faces when Ellen walked by us.

It turned out to be an amazing day. Ellen is awesome. If you would like to see Rachel and me poorly dance on national television IN THE FRONT ROW!, we will be on tomorrow. We are next to the girl in the green shirt that is on quite a bit. FUN FUN FUN! Hopefully next time we'll be seeing JT!

Thursday, April 20, 2006

L.A. traffic has been killing me lately. Today I was sitting in traffic at one o'clock in the afternoon; two hours prior to when rush hour is even supposed to START to begin.It has been making me so angry that I have actually been having dreams about it. Last night I had this horrible dream that I was one of the drivers that I hate more than anything in the world. I drove with two feet so I kept slamming on the breaks and then accelerating as hard I could and I refused to get out of the left lane even though I was aware of the fact that I was a horrible driver. During my dream I found the real me screaming at the horrible driver me because one of my biggest fears is to be a horrible driver that causes traffic and ruins the fast moving highways for everyone!

My number one reason for gun control is because of people like me. I have the worst road rage and if I was handed a gun I am sure on some days I would mow down the entire left lane. Everytime I drive home up the 5 I find myself contemplating buying a gun and taking out every single last left lane driver. I would elminate the vast majority of traffic. Just think of how much stress would be aleviated by the reduction of left lane drivers. I am convinced that left lane drivers are horrible inconsiderate people that only think of themselves. It is true. So if you are a left lane driver, I hate you and I basically think you are the devil and the cause of all stress.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Last night was a very interesting night to say the least. I went out with some friends to our favorite bar in Long Beach. It's an Irish Pub so it is an eclectic mix of people that go there. Recently I talked about how I only attract 55 year old men with missing teeth, well, I also attract dumbasses and I ended up getting 3 guys kicked out of a bar. All of us knew it was going to be an interesting night because of the first set of guys that came up to talk to us.

We're all standing around talking when all of a sudden
Random Guy: You guys are fucking hot!!
We all stop talking and look at this guy
RG: I mean Top Model Hot! I saw you guys and I was like whoa, why are all the Top Models here?
He then goes on to describe what each of us are, but I was pretty drunk so I only remember the first two.
RG: I mean you have the hot Latina. (Then he looks at me) The modest white girl.


I was called a modest white girl. What is this?

I don't remember much after this, but need I say the guy was a dumbass.

Then this Irish guy comes over and starts talking to us. I didn't mind him though beause he said American girls don't have good taste in shoes, but mine were "kick ass." Compliment me on my shoes and you will forever be in my good book.

The drama then began. I'm sitting at this table talking to my friends when all of a sudden I look up and there is this drunk dumbass at the bar taking pictures of me. He looks right at me and smiles drunkenly and I gave him the dirtiest look ever and shook my head to tell him that's not cool. He then procedes to take picture after picture after picture and I start to get pissed so I start to flip him off and he STILL will not stop. Finally, his friend makes him stop and his friend comes over and says, "I'm sorry about my friend he just finished med school." (Trust me this kid did NOT got to med school!) So I said, "And that's an excuse, why? Tell your friend if he keeps taking pictures of me I'm going to kick him in the balls." So then guy walks out and the motherfucker takes another picture of me!! Then he has the balls to come over and try and talk to me!

Drunken Asshole: That's not very nice of you to flip me off when I'm trying to take pictures of you.
Me: Excuse me? That is not okay for you to take pictures of me without my permission. You haven't even tried to talk to me and you're trying to take pictures of me. What are you the fucking paparazzi?
DA: Yes, I work for the Enquirer.
Me: That's nice, well I'm not famous so go away.
DA: You're a bitch! Fuck you!
Me: No, shit I'm a bitch. You're the asshole trying to take pictures of me!

The guy then walks off and then tries to come back over and I'm starting to lose my patience and I start telling the guy's friend to get him away and finally the dude goes back to the bar. Then I get up to go to the bathroom and when I come back my friend, Pat, is being talked to by the security guards. I'm all confused so I ask my other friends what's going on and apparently one of my friends told Pat about how the drunken asshole called me a bitch and Pat decided to be the typical male and try and kick the guys ass. So I have to go talk to the security guards and explain why Pat was so pissed. So they take Pat and the other guys outside and talk to them, but allows all of them back in. Then the security guard asks me about everything that happened and tells me he'll take care of it. Next thing I know two security guards are hovering over the three assholes and watch them finish their drinks and then kicks them out.

I never thought I would get three people kicked out of a bar, but I'm happy I did. I don't care that the guy called me a bitch. That's the least of my concerns, but I am not okay with some random guy taking pictures of me like I'm some object. I am a person not something to just be stared at so fuck off. Craziest night ever! Once again, I do not attract normal men!