Top 10 Reasons I Feel Badly if a Guy Ever Gets Me Pregnant
1) I'm not pregnant right now and my cravings are so bad that I HAVE to HAVE it immediately or I think I'm going to die. I can't imagine what they'll be like when I'm pregnant.
For example: Yesterday, I did the whole falling asleep on the floor thing again and when I woke up I had this insane craving for either brownies and vanilla ice cream or cookie dough ice cream. I still had a bunch of lines all over my face and arms from falling asleep on the floor, but I got up, still half asleep, and drove to the store to get cookie dough ice cream and shrimp...I am a freak.
2) I already eat too much and I'm eating for one person, I can't imagine how much I'll eat when I'm eating for two.
3)When I'm not pregnant and I'm hungry and have no food I turn into mega bitch, when I'm pregnant I think I'll turn into super mega bitch x 20.
4) When the guy complains I will remind him that he can't complain because he's the one that did this to me so all his problems are his own fault.
5) If we ever fight over the TV or what to do I will always win because my vote counts for two.
6) I will only refer to the guy that got me pregnant as "My Bitch."
7) He will always drive because I will say that my feet are too fat for the pedals.
8) He better pray that the baby comes out right at the 9 month mark and not a day later.
9) Every day I have morning sickness I will make him have morning sickness.
10) I will never cook and I will remind him it's not my job since I have to live with a bulge the size of a basketball protruding from my body for 9 months because of him.
1) I'm not pregnant right now and my cravings are so bad that I HAVE to HAVE it immediately or I think I'm going to die. I can't imagine what they'll be like when I'm pregnant.
For example: Yesterday, I did the whole falling asleep on the floor thing again and when I woke up I had this insane craving for either brownies and vanilla ice cream or cookie dough ice cream. I still had a bunch of lines all over my face and arms from falling asleep on the floor, but I got up, still half asleep, and drove to the store to get cookie dough ice cream and shrimp...I am a freak.
2) I already eat too much and I'm eating for one person, I can't imagine how much I'll eat when I'm eating for two.
3)When I'm not pregnant and I'm hungry and have no food I turn into mega bitch, when I'm pregnant I think I'll turn into super mega bitch x 20.
4) When the guy complains I will remind him that he can't complain because he's the one that did this to me so all his problems are his own fault.
5) If we ever fight over the TV or what to do I will always win because my vote counts for two.
6) I will only refer to the guy that got me pregnant as "My Bitch."
7) He will always drive because I will say that my feet are too fat for the pedals.
8) He better pray that the baby comes out right at the 9 month mark and not a day later.
9) Every day I have morning sickness I will make him have morning sickness.
10) I will never cook and I will remind him it's not my job since I have to live with a bulge the size of a basketball protruding from my body for 9 months because of him.
posted by Penny at 1:20 PM
7 Comments:
oh my god penny, i don't know what made you come up with this hypothetical list of things but i am laughing so hard i think i may need a trip to the emergency room!!!!!!!!!
P. You. Are. Hilarious.
Geez, you sound like MY little sister.
Haaa! That's great, and exactly how I feel.
My food cravings are the *worst, and they're so damn specific. For instance, sometimes, I just have to have cocktail shrimp. Why? No reason, I just want cocktail shrimp. Or raw tuna. Or candied hazelnuts. And it's just going to get worse when I get pregnant. Awesome.
logan- your sister is a smart woman. also, i checked out your blog and i looked at your links and it says the sports guy!!! you are the only person i have ever come to speak with that knows who he is!!! i love him! therefore, you are good in my book:)
gloria- i have the same problem. it's seriously not a craving though, it's like if i don't have it i am going to die and i CANNOT stop thinking about that specific food. those are the times in my life where i think, "wow i really am crazy!"
i crave lava
sweet molten lava from the earths core
My favorite is that you will never drive because you'll say your feet are too fat for the pedals. I can picture you now -- "Look at these things, do you think I'm driving with them? I don't think so! You drive!" Penny, you are crazy.
Post a Comment
<< Home