I love my homemade tree. Who knew it was so much fun to make Christmas decorations out of construction paper?

My mom called me the other day to inform me that I received an AARP application in the mail. Something as silly as that makes me feel young because I'm barely shy of 24, but there are times where I feel incredibly old. This usually occurs when I have had a bad day at work and the realization that I am doing absolutely nothing with my life is so incredibly clear. I've been reading old entries from my sister's blog and mine and most of the time I feel like I'm still the same person, but in a new city. It's so easy to have high expectations and dreams when you are just getting out of college and your parents still pay for everything.

So I'm attempting to do something with my life and I'm going back to school to become a paralegal. I feel good about it and I hope this feeling lasts. I want to use my education that I worked so hard to get for four years and that does NOT involve RETAIL!

Most amazing weekend of my life.

Saw Radiohead from the 4th row at the Outsidelands Festival.

Listened to Tom Petty from my roof and officially became a cliche when I started singing "Free Fallin'" while slightly intoxicated.

Saw Wilco from the second row. Made eye contact with Jeff Tweedy.

I need a real job and I need to get away from retail...fast. I am a supervisor at a large retail company that sells you a lot of crap that you more than likely don't need. I can no longer deal with people's neuroses. I can no longer deal with the madness, the anger, the rudeness, the egos, the crying, the sex in public, the loud cell phone talkers, the thieves, the stupidity, and finally, the poop. Oh, the poop.

I have been working for this company for 8 months and I probably have the funniest, most ridiculous and most disgusting stories you will ever hear. I don't know if these experiences have made me a better or worse person, but they sure have taught me a lot.

Here are some tips:

1) The customer is NOT always right. If you are angry about something, more than likely, you are wrong. 90% of the time the customer is wrong.

2) You are not smarter than the person working retail. You especially don't know more about the policies of the company that person works for. Don't act like you do. Ever.

3)Don't talk on your cell phone inside a building in a normal speaking voice. You then become loud and obnoxious.

4) Don't EVER talk on your cell phone when you are purchasing something. I don't care how much you apologize, you are still an asshole.

5) Don't ever assume you are not being watched. Don't have sex or perform sexual acts in public. Most likely, you are on camera.

6) Don't poop on the floor. You must feel some amount of shame when you do this. Why not relieve yourself of that shame and not do it? It'll make the world a better place.

Since when did Coldplay turn into U2? Their new song "Vida la vida" sounds exactly like U2's "Beautiful Day." Coldplay used to have potential. But now when I see people go into fits of rage about how Coldplay is the worst band in the world, I'm starting to understand. But people will still go to their concerts, clap their hands, sing their lyrics, and think they have become self actualized through the music of an over-hyped, over-produced, over-marketed band. There is nothing like the power of an Apple commercial.

I just read that Radiohead released the cities they will hit on their tour and San Francisco is on the list. I will see Radiohead. A dream I have wanted to fulfill since I was 9. I will mostly cry and fall to pieces when it happens. I don't believe in much of anything, but I believe in Thom Yorke.

There is a hurricane going on in San Francisco. The winds have been clocked at 70 mph in my neighborhood. There is an inch of rain falling per hour. Garbage and trees are everywhere. Trucks are being blown over by the wind. The house is shaking. And I just had to move my car because of street sweeping. Awesome.